Sabertooth's Spare time
by Crimsonshadow1
Summary: Kurt and Kitty have to do a school report on someone they don't know, and who better than Sabertooth?


Disclaimers: I am in no way responsible for the strange thoughts, feelings or the various wishes to damage oneself because of the content of this fic. I also do not own anything made by other people, and I am not profiting from this financially.  
  
And now, on with the story:  
  
"Mr. Wagner, May I speak to you?" The teacher asked as she put away her papers and the rest of the class rushed out. Kurt slowly slunk to the desk at the front of the class, dreading what he was about to hear. "Your grades have been dropping recently, and unless you want to fail this class, I suggest you do the assignments." She looked at him sternly, "I have a make- up project for you to do. I understand you are living with Kitty?"  
  
"Uh, ja." Kurt said, confused.  
  
"Good, you can do this project with her; she has good grades, so I think you will benefit from it, and she has requested some extra curricular things to keep her marks up.I want you to find someone you don't know well, and do a documentary of them." She raised an eyebrow, "About their lifestyle, and anything else you find important. It is a written report, ~hopefully~ ten pages long, but I will accept seven." As Kurt hesitated, she snapped, "Get going, unless you want to be late for your next class!" He fled.  
  
"Kitty, did you hear about that project?" Kurt asked once they were back at the mansion.  
  
"Yeah, I did. We could, like, do it together. You don't mind, right?"  
  
"No, I'd probably be easier," he agreed, "but who should we do it on?"  
  
"Umm.Like, I don't know. No one around here, 'cuz she said someone we don't really know, right?"  
  
"Ja, she did." They both sat down in front of the television (which they had both been heading for anyway) and started to zone out. Kurt looked into the hall as Logan chanced by, growling to himself. "Vas is he so irritated about?" He asked the air.  
  
"I dunno, probably like, his thing with Sabertooth or something." She waved it off; Kurt, however, got an idea.  
  
"Kitty, what if we did our project on ~him~?" He asked suddenly.  
  
"Who, Logan? I don't think he-"  
  
"No, Sabertooth! Think about it, we could figure out why he and Logan are such enemies! He probably lives around here." Kitty stared at him for several seconds, wondering if he had lost his mind. Kurt wondered as well, but it ~did~ seem like a good idea.  
  
"We'd have to keep him from knowing we're, like, there, you know? He'd get pretty mad if he, like, caught us."  
  
"With our powers, how ~could~ he catch us?" Kurt asked. Kitty suddenly got a look on her face as if she bought it, and ran to get her notepad. Kurt followed, silently scolding and congratulating himself on thinking of something ~that~ crazy.  
  
Once they had informed the Professor that they were going to go do their projects (with no specifics mentioned), Kurt teleported them into a secluded part of the city.  
  
"'Kay, first we gotta find him. Where do you think he'd hang out?" Kitty asked, "Like, a bar or something?"  
  
"No, he isn't the social type; maybe in zee forest?" Kurt thought it sounded logical for a mutant like Sabertooth. They both agreed that was a good place to start, so they 'ported there and began searching.  
  
It took most of the day to find where Sabertooth's hideout was, but once they found it (and Sabertooth lurking outside) they grabbed a high tree branch and stayed hidden. They both whipped out their notebooks and began to write as if they were a pair of documentary hosts on a hunt for a very illusive animal.  
  
'The habitat he appears to own is a large house hidden within the thick forests just outside of town.' Was the first line of Kurts, written in his normal untidy scrawl, more untidy because of the fact that he was in a tree, in a slightly awkward position. 'He appears to be looking for something outside.'  
  
Indeed, Sabertooth was either looking for something, or waiting for something. He wandered around outside the back of his house, glancing under bushes and other bits of the forest.  
  
"Mr. Fluffins!" Sabertooth suddenly called out, sounding for all the world like he was singing it, even in his growling voice. A small mew answered, and the two teens saw a small grey and white cat come darting toward him. They exchanged bewildered looks, and began writing madly.  
  
'It's a little cat that he's looking for.' Kitty wrote, 'and it SO doesn't suit him. This cute little kitty and such a big brute just do NOT go together.' Of course, the cat didn't seem to realize this very accurate assessment, and leapt right into the arms of his owner, who cooed to him lovingly. Kurt sounded like he was trying to suppress his laughter.  
  
They removed themselves from the tree when Sabertooth went back inside, and were grateful for the growing darkness. They would be able to see inside the house without the host being able to see them. A little window through the kitchen into the living room gave them a good idea of what was going on.  
  
They could see the tall, hairy man carry his cat into the kitchen and set it on the table. He scooped out some canned food and put it in a dish, and allowed the cat to eat on the table. Of course, the cat being what it was, it took the food out of the dish to eat directly on the table. He left the room, went through the living room and up the stairs. Kurt and Kitty took the opportunity to survey and write about the furnishing of the interior.  
  
'.a white sofa and armchair with a cream colored plush carpet,' scribbled Kitty, 'with tall cabinets and shelves on the back wall, full of little knickknacks and pieces of art. A really nice TV was in the middle of it in front of the coffee table, which matched everything as a light wood. The walls are painted plainly white. One book on the table, titled-' she paused, squinting at the book. It was no use, she couldn't see; she left a blank and kept writing.  
  
'.the kitchen is equipped with a long light colored table with four chairs surrounding it, and the counters match almost perfectly. The oven and fridge are matching too, both white and very clean. The entire kitchen is clean. The floor is patterned linoleum, cream like the living room.' Kurt couldn't help but let out a small snicker; he could never imagine Sabertooth like this.  
  
"Kurt?" Kitty whispered quietly, "I think it's getting late, we should get back before we worry anyone."  
  
"Ja, okay. Want to come back tomorrow? It's a Saturday, so we can come in the morning."  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
************************************************************************ (1)  
  
"Kurt? How come you're, like, up so early?" Kitty asked, rubbing her eyes and shuffling her way to the chair.  
  
"I wanted to get a good look at Sabertooth's morning. We can't miss anything, you know."  
  
"I know, I know. Just let me wake up a bit first."  
  
By the time they got there Sabertooth was awake and.cleaning. Kitty had to flee a few feet away for fear her snickering would be heard. Luckily, they weren't, and Sabertooth continued. He was wearing an apron, of all things, and taking a feather duster to every place dust could be, might be, or had any remote chance of being. His cat was lounging on the couch, seeming quite content with being near a very large, hairy man in an apron.  
  
The two kids made sure to keep out of his range of sight as he moved throughout the house, dusting and cleaning. They also noted that he continuously glanced at the many clocks in the house, perhaps waiting for something. The moment he was done his cleaning in the last room, the clock hit the hour and he zoomed off to the living room.  
  
The television program he was apparently so eager to watch was a soap opera that Kitty recognized. "Hey, my mom watches that one!" She whispered to Kurt. "It's so stupid and, like, the people are so dumb." She trailed off, both of them entranced by the glowing glowy-ness of the TV.  
  
Today's episode of the soap was only vaguely interesting. A pair of people named Rob and Karla were having issues with their relationship, resulting in Karla storming off and leaving Rob for what could be an indefinite amount of time. Also, the old businessman Mr. Dunshire was reminiscing about how he used to be younger.  
  
After an hour of sitting and scribbling notes, the kids decided that they were tired of this and got up to walk around. They compared notes as well, so as not to miss anything of this extraordinary life of their enemy.  
  
They came back to find Sabertooth reading the book that had previously been on the coffee table. Kitty and Kurt both snickered at the cover, which was not turned to face them. It was a romance novel; a Harlequin, to be exact. They both wrote that down, and snickered to each other. His cat was now asleep in his lap, and he petted it lovingly.  
  
During the rest of the day they returned from various places at random times, but found that his life inside his house was not all that interesting. He watched TV, read his book, ate a lot, and played with his cat. By the time the day was over, Kurt and Kitty had a very different view of Sabertooth.  
  
"Here you go, my report is all done!" Kurt said triumphantly, handing his report to the teacher, and then walking out without a second glance. The teacher sighed and flipped to the first page, wondering who they could have chosen as their 'quarry.'  
  
"The habitat," The report read, "Of the illusive Sabertooth (name changed to protect his identity)."  
  
The end!  
  
(1)- For all those who know what RPG's are, you can play in your head the "sleeping at an inn" little song thing from your favourite game! Authors Notes: Well, hope ya'll liked it! It was my very first fanfic to be published anywhere, AND it was my very first Humour writing! I know I'm not that good at it. Review and tell me what you think. I'll probably have another fanfic for all you people, something a little more serious this time. Oh yeah! I'm always open to talk, I love meeting new people (even though I'm very shy.) and all you have to do is E-mail me or something! 


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